I’m not offended by homosexuality. In the 60s I made love to many, many women – often outdoors in the mud and the rain – and it’s possible that a man…

- Creed Bratton

No matter how you get here or where you end up, human beings have this miraculous gift to make that place home.

- Creed Bratton

In case you were wondering, my spirit animal is a duck billed platypus.

- Creed Bratton

I'm a pretty normal guy. I do one weird thing. I like to go in the women's room for number two. I've been caught several times and I have paid dearly.

- Creed Bratton

Oh, I steal things all the time. It's just something I do. I stopped caring a long time ago.

- Creed Bratton

The Taliban is the worst...great heroin though.

- Creed Bratton

I don't want to take myself too seriously. That's my lesson to myself.

- Creed Bratton

Nobody steals from Creed Bratton and gets away with it. The last person to do this disappeared. His name? Creed Bratton.

- Creed Bratton

Honestly, I love stealing things.

- Creed Bratton