I'm just saying it's easier to kill a cat than dispose of a car.

- John Dobbin

You'd really spend about a hundred dollars for fake testicles for your cat? I'm not sure I'd spend that for fake testicles for myself.

- John Dobbin

In reality, everyone is good in bed. Close eyes. Shutdown brain. Pause as necessary. Restart brain. Open eyes. What's there to not be good at? Bed is…

- John Dobbin

Actually, cats do this to protect you from gnomes who come and steal your breath while you sleep.

- John Dobbin