I'm washing lettuce. Soon, I'll be on fries. In a few years, I'll make assistant manager, and that's when the big bucks start rolling in.
My mom ate every piece of butter in the Midwest, she lived till she was 90. And my dad, he smoked, he drank - we finally just had to kill him. - Louie Anderson
My mom ate every piece of butter in the Midwest, she lived till she was 90. And my dad, he smoked, he drank - we finally just had to kill him.
- Louie Anderson
I live in California, the worst place in the world for fat people. There are three of us. They have us on eight-hour shifts, so it works out. - Louie Anderson
I live in California, the worst place in the world for fat people. There are three of us. They have us on eight-hour shifts, so it works out.
I felt ashamed for what I had done. I don't have any excuses. I did what I did. I take full responsibility for myself and my actions. I wouldn't pawn… - Louie Anderson
I felt ashamed for what I had done. I don't have any excuses. I did what I did. I take full responsibility for myself and my actions. I wouldn't pawn…
If I were the last person on earth, some moron would turn left in front of me. - Louie Anderson
If I were the last person on earth, some moron would turn left in front of me.
It's so much easier to be cynical. - Louie Anderson
It's so much easier to be cynical.
At Thanksgiving, my mom always makes too much food, especially one item, like 700 or 800 pounds of sweet potatoes. She's got to push it during the me… - Louie Anderson
At Thanksgiving, my mom always makes too much food, especially one item, like 700 or 800 pounds of sweet potatoes. She's got to push it during the me…
I'm a kid from Minnesota. I like seeing movie stars! So I'm there at The ivy, I've got my shrimp, Eddie Murphy comes in with his gang. I said to the … - Louie Anderson
I'm a kid from Minnesota. I like seeing movie stars! So I'm there at The ivy, I've got my shrimp, Eddie Murphy comes in with his gang. I said to the …
You have to not worry or doubt or punish yourself. All the worry, doubt and punishment will not add one second to your life, you know? - Louie Anderson
You have to not worry or doubt or punish yourself. All the worry, doubt and punishment will not add one second to your life, you know?
I think Splash made people realize that I was still alive, and I think I inspired a lot of people. I have people coming up to me all the time in the … - Louie Anderson
I think Splash made people realize that I was still alive, and I think I inspired a lot of people. I have people coming up to me all the time in the …
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