I'm not a person who I ever thought would do well with divorce. Not that it can't happen. I just didn't want that. So I waited a long time to meet the right person. Then I finally met someone that I was willing to be divorced from.
Being a screenwriter in Hollywood is like being a eunuch at an orgy. Worse, actually, at least the eunuch is allowed to watch. - Albert Brooks
Being a screenwriter in Hollywood is like being a eunuch at an orgy. Worse, actually, at least the eunuch is allowed to watch.
- Albert Brooks
Your spouse should be just attractive enough to turn you on. Anything more is trouble. - Albert Brooks
Your spouse should be just attractive enough to turn you on. Anything more is trouble.
Getting older is a lot of fun. Right up there with chewing glass or putting your hand in a blender. - Albert Brooks
Getting older is a lot of fun. Right up there with chewing glass or putting your hand in a blender.
When I die, if the word 'thong' appears in the first or second sentence of my obituary, I've screwed up. - Albert Brooks
When I die, if the word 'thong' appears in the first or second sentence of my obituary, I've screwed up.
I was in Kashmir last weekend. Went to visit one of my sweaters. - Albert Brooks
I was in Kashmir last weekend. Went to visit one of my sweaters.
If anything happens to me, tell every woman I've ever gone with I was talking about her at the end. That way, they'll have to reevaluate me. - Albert Brooks
If anything happens to me, tell every woman I've ever gone with I was talking about her at the end. That way, they'll have to reevaluate me.
Wouldn't this be a great world if insecurity and desperation made us more attractive? - Albert Brooks
Wouldn't this be a great world if insecurity and desperation made us more attractive?
I got so good at writing to a budget, my brain was restricting myself. I'd write, "It's a stormy night." Then I'd cross out stormy. I'd write: "It's … - Albert Brooks
I got so good at writing to a budget, my brain was restricting myself. I'd write, "It's a stormy night." Then I'd cross out stormy. I'd write: "It's …
A lot of alliteration from anxious anchors placed in powerful posts! - Albert Brooks
A lot of alliteration from anxious anchors placed in powerful posts!
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