I'm right-handed, and the police report said I was jerking off with my left hand. That would have been the end of the case right there, proof it coul…

- Paul Reubens

There's a lotta things about me you don't know anything about, Dottie. Things you wouldn't understand. Things you couldn't understand. Things you sho…

- Paul Reubens

I'm fortunately not in a situation where someone owns me.

- Paul Reubens

It's a lot easier to say you're a comic than a performance artist.

- Paul Reubens

I enjoy getting to be arty and quirky and weird and all the things that I don't have that much choice with. You just sort of use what you got.

- Paul Reubens

The public may think I'm weird. They may think I'm crazy or anything that anyone wants to think about me. That's all fine. As long as one of the thin…

- Paul Reubens

I know you are, but what am I?

- Paul Reubens

I think my entire career path was determined for me when I was 6 years old, watching reruns of 'I Love Lucy' on TV and thinking about making people l…

- Paul Reubens

I wouldn't sell my bike for all the money in the world. Not for a hundred million, trillion, billion dollars!

- Paul Reubens