I'm too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I don't know.
When I'm not in a relationship, I shave one leg. That way, when I sleep, it feels like I'm with a woman. - Garry Shandling
When I'm not in a relationship, I shave one leg. That way, when I sleep, it feels like I'm with a woman.
- Garry Shandling
Which is, I'm an optimist that two people can be together to work out their conflicts. And that commitment, I think, might be what love is, because t… - Garry Shandling
Which is, I'm an optimist that two people can be together to work out their conflicts. And that commitment, I think, might be what love is, because t…
I sold my house this week. I got a pretty good price for it, but it made my landlord mad as hell - Garry Shandling
I sold my house this week. I got a pretty good price for it, but it made my landlord mad as hell
I'm too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I don't know. - Garry Shandling
In the year 2525, that song will be even less popular than when it first came out. - Garry Shandling
In the year 2525, that song will be even less popular than when it first came out.
They should put expiration dates on clothing so we men will know when they go out of style. - Garry Shandling
They should put expiration dates on clothing so we men will know when they go out of style.
I met a new girl at a barbecue, very pretty, a blond I think. I don't know, her hair was on fire, and all she talked about was herself. You know thes… - Garry Shandling
I met a new girl at a barbecue, very pretty, a blond I think. I don't know, her hair was on fire, and all she talked about was herself. You know thes…
Nice guys finish first. If you don't know that, then you don't know where the finish line is. - Garry Shandling
Nice guys finish first. If you don't know that, then you don't know where the finish line is.
I'm very loyal in relationships. Even when I go out with my mom I don't look at other moms. - Garry Shandling
I'm very loyal in relationships. Even when I go out with my mom I don't look at other moms.
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