I'm still working on my time machine. If I ever perfect it, I'm going back in time to prevent Ace Ventura 2 from being made. And then I'm going after Hitler.
There's a lot of controversy online, some people say i'm a genius and other say i'm hugely talented. - Andy Kindler
There's a lot of controversy online, some people say i'm a genius and other say i'm hugely talented.
- Andy Kindler
You know, civil rights is great and everything, but a lot of people don't realize that plumbers in the South make less money than when they used to i… - Andy Kindler
You know, civil rights is great and everything, but a lot of people don't realize that plumbers in the South make less money than when they used to i…
My cat's fully capable of speaking, but he says he's afraid of me turning it into a Kevin James vehicle. - Andy Kindler
My cat's fully capable of speaking, but he says he's afraid of me turning it into a Kevin James vehicle.
Tracy Morgan apologizes for his homophobic rant, still no apologies for the sketch about the guy living under the street. - Andy Kindler
Tracy Morgan apologizes for his homophobic rant, still no apologies for the sketch about the guy living under the street.
I noticed whenever you call information, 411, there's always a computer voice, and they go, 'What number would you like? City and state, please.' 'Ye… - Andy Kindler
I noticed whenever you call information, 411, there's always a computer voice, and they go, 'What number would you like? City and state, please.' 'Ye…
Maybe Bill Maher should just practice his monologue a few times before the show, so he wouldn't find it so hilarious. But I kid the asshole. - Andy Kindler
Maybe Bill Maher should just practice his monologue a few times before the show, so he wouldn't find it so hilarious. But I kid the asshole.
Some of my inventions didn't take off. I invented a url lengthener. - Andy Kindler
Some of my inventions didn't take off. I invented a url lengthener.
Now we have two choices in life: have sex with the same person forever or risk a terminal disease. Either way, your life is over. - Andy Kindler
Now we have two choices in life: have sex with the same person forever or risk a terminal disease. Either way, your life is over.
George Lopez does so much mugging, I'm surprised he's not up on charges. - Andy Kindler
George Lopez does so much mugging, I'm surprised he's not up on charges.
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