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I'm now unemployed. It's a weird feeling with no work, but at least there's still golf. Standup comedy is like my core, it's what I do. But I want to be a pro golfer. It's a love/hate relationship with golf. I can come away feeling so serene, and yet, it's the thing that I can let get to me to throw a club and say curses that don't even exist. I'm obsessed with something that won't let me master it. I don't know. I need therapy.

Ray Romano
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Ray Romano's Popular Quotes

I do what I do because I love it.

- Ray Romano

That's when you know you're a true married couple: when you have to apologize for what you did in her dream.

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I do still get intimidated by certain things.

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I married a saint - well, a saint who curses.

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Whenever I get down about life going by too quickly, what helps me is a little mantra that I repeat to myself: at least I'm not a fruit fly.

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For the sake of your marriage, get a king-size bed. And if you really want to stay married, get two.

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I'll be spending the holidays with my family. Nothing special, just some light bickering and biting sarcasm.

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The more I go through parenting, the more I say I owe my mother an apology.

- Ray Romano

Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken, and there's a lot of throwing up.

- Ray Romano
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