Being a White Sox fan meant measuring victory in terms of defeat. A 6-5 defeat was a good day. A big rally was Wally Moses doubling down the right- f…

- Jean Shepherd

Some men are Baptists, others Catholics; my father was an Oldsmobile man.

- Jean Shepherd

I had woven a tapestry of obscenity that as far as I know is still hanging in space over Lake Michigan.

- Jean Shepherd

The reality of what we really are is often times found in the small snips, way down at the bottom of things.

- Jean Shepherd

I've met them down in the Cost and Accounting Department, clean-shaven and in white collars. They can't see a damn thing ridiculous about themselves.…

- Jean Shepherd

The Bumpuses were so low down on the evolutionary totem pole that they weren't even included in Darwin's famous family tree. They had inbred and ingr…

- Jean Shepherd

In God we trust; all others pay cash.

- Jean Shepherd

In all my years of New York cab riding I have yet to find the colorful, philosophical cabdriver that keeps popping up on the late movies.

- Jean Shepherd

Randy lay there like a slug. It was his only defense.

- Jean Shepherd