I can get a great look at a t-bone steak by shoving my head up a bull's ass but I'd rather take the butchers word for it.

- Chris Farley

I'm just dandy, I got a bowl of chocolate pudding in my underpants!

- Chris Farley

I have a tendency toward the pleasures of the flesh. It's a battle for me, as far as weight and things like that. But I'm curbing them because I want…

- Chris Farley

You gotta fight for your right to vote!

- Chris Farley

Brothers don't shake hands. Brothers gotta hug.

- Chris Farley

First off, I am 35 years old, I am divorced, and I live in a van down by the river.

- Chris Farley

I live in a VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER.

- Chris Farley

I have what doctors call a little bit of a weight problem.

- Chris Farley

I was in the Pritikin Center in Santa Monica once, trying to lose 30 or 40 pounds in a month. I'd work... on a treadmill and with the weights, but it…

- Chris Farley