Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories: those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost. The goal of all inanimate objects is to resist man and ultimately to defeat him, and the three major classifications are based on the method each object uses to achieve its purpose. As a general rule, any object capable of breaking down at the moment when it is most needed will do so.
Listen once in a while. It's amazing what you can hear. - Russell Baker
Listen once in a while. It's amazing what you can hear.
- Russell Baker
Reality is the only obstacle to happiness. - Russell Baker
Reality is the only obstacle to happiness.
The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist. - Russell Baker
The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist.
The best advice I can give anybody about going out into the world is this: Don't do it. I have been out there. It is a mess.... - Russell Baker
The best advice I can give anybody about going out into the world is this: Don't do it. I have been out there. It is a mess....
The only thing I was fit for was to be a writer, and this notion rested solely on my suspicion that I would never be fit for real work, and that writ… - Russell Baker
The only thing I was fit for was to be a writer, and this notion rested solely on my suspicion that I would never be fit for real work, and that writ…
An educated person is one who has learned that information almost always turns out to be at best incomplete and very often false, misleading, fictiti… - Russell Baker
An educated person is one who has learned that information almost always turns out to be at best incomplete and very often false, misleading, fictiti…
The people who say: 'You are what you eat' have always seemed addled to me. In my opinion, you are what you think, and if you don't think, you can ea… - Russell Baker
The people who say: 'You are what you eat' have always seemed addled to me. In my opinion, you are what you think, and if you don't think, you can ea…
Happiness is a small and unworthy goal for something as big and fancy as a whole lifetime, and should be taken in small doses. - Russell Baker
Happiness is a small and unworthy goal for something as big and fancy as a whole lifetime, and should be taken in small doses.
Life is always walking up to us and saying, "Come on in, the living's fine," and what do we do? Back off and take its picture. - Russell Baker
Life is always walking up to us and saying, "Come on in, the living's fine," and what do we do? Back off and take its picture.
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