The players need to remember to run with their bodies above their legs.

- Tony Kornheiser

The Bears treat offense as if its bubonic plague.

- Tony Kornheiser

Hannah Storm in a horrifying, horrifying outfit today. She's got on red go-go boots and a catholic school plaid skirt ... way too short for somebody …

- Tony Kornheiser

Men are clinging to football on a level we aren't even aware of. For centuries, we ruled everything, and now, in the last ten minutes, there are all …

- Tony Kornheiser

Everyone who ever walked barefoot into his child's room late at night hates Legos.

- Tony Kornheiser

He is already past the high point in his life and coming down on the other side. By next week he'll be nostalgia. He's 12 years old, and it's over fo…

- Tony Kornheiser

Ivan Lendl is a robot, a solitary, mechanical man who lives with his dogs behind towering walls at his estate in Connecticut. A man who so badly want…

- Tony Kornheiser

We think Eli is taller and handsomer now that he's won the Super Bowl. Imagine what would've happened if [Jaws] won the Super Bowl.

- Tony Kornheiser

So instead of the Super Bowl, we've got the Stupor Bowl. Two once-proud teams, now 0-4 and stumbling through the season like zombies. And if you thin…

- Tony Kornheiser