Never point at anything beige and call it cool.

- Lea Delaria

It's not that I don't like penises. I just don't like them on men.

- Lea Delaria

My mother said to me, 'Why do you have to call yourself a dyke? Why can't you be a nice lesbian?' 'Because I'm not a nice lesbian, I'm a big dyke.'

- Lea Delaria

No one has the responsibility to be out to anyone but himself or herself. I made my choice a million years ago.

- Lea Delaria

They are preserving the sanctity of marriage, so that two gay men who've been together for twenty-five years can't get married, but a guy can still g…

- Lea Delaria

As a standup, I try to change the world. As an entertainer, I try to entertain. And as a lesbian, I try to pick up the prettiest girl in the room.

- Lea Delaria

A woman will allow herself to be clouded by her emotions. Her reasonable thought becomes completely unreasonable over the most ridiculous thing. It's…

- Lea Delaria

It's really not enough to just have black women. A really good idea could be to comment on how they are treated by society.

- Lea Delaria

What do you mean, you "don't believe in homosexuality?" It's not like the Easter Bunny, your belief isn't necessary.

- Lea Delaria