I hate the beach - I'm a mountain guy. I'd much rather face a bear than a shark.

- Jeff Dunham

As humans we like to laugh at our fears, we like to whistle in the dark.

- Jeff Dunham

But the mechanics of learning to 'throw your voice' are pretty simple. Anyone with a tongue, an upper palate, teeth, and a normal speaking voice can …

- Jeff Dunham

You never know how long your fifteen minutes of fame is going to last.

- Jeff Dunham

I've skewered whites, blacks, Hispanics, Christians, Jews, Muslims, gays, straights, rednecks, addicts, the elderly, and my wife. As a standup comic,…

- Jeff Dunham

My mother and my father have always supported me. Now in their eighties, they actually clamor onto the tour bus with me once or twice a year so they …

- Jeff Dunham

I was a kid in the third grade ... saw a dummy in the toy store. In the '60s and '70s there were a lot of those vinyl ventriloquism dummies - just ab…

- Jeff Dunham

A comedian needs to have his own filters, needs to know his audience, how far he can push things.

- Jeff Dunham

When a bad experience happens, you just chalk it up to the great fact that you just got five more jokes in the show.

- Jeff Dunham