You know I've got a chum, a smashing mate, he's got a dog with no legs, and he calls it a cigarette. It's true, yeah, because at nighttime he has to …

- Norman Wisdom

Such is life and life is such and after all it isn't much. First a cradle. Then a hearse. It might have been better, but it could have been worse.

- Norman Wisdom

It was absolutely thrilling to meet Laurel and Hardy, they were so nice.

- Norman Wisdom

My only phobia is untidiness. My hair has to be neatly kept; my shoes are always clean. Everything has to be in a straight line, in its place.

- Norman Wisdom

But no, I've just been very lucky. But I've worked hard, and the harder you work, the luckier you seem to get.

- Norman Wisdom

I was born in very sorry circumstances. Both of my parents were very sorry

- Norman Wisdom

My comedy is for children from three to 93. You do need a slightly childish sense of humour and if you haven't got that, it's very sad.

- Norman Wisdom

At my age, the radiation will probably do me good.

- Norman Wisdom

I was born in London, and went to school in Scotland - I used to be dead tired when I got home at night.

- Norman Wisdom