I've learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

- Andy Rooney

I've learned... That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.

- Andy Rooney

It is possible to be dumb and be a college president.

- Andy Rooney

I'm in a position of feeling secure enough so that I can say what I think is right and if so many people think it's wrong that I get fired, well, I'v…

- Andy Rooney

I like ice hockey, but it's a frustrating game to watch. It's hard to keep your eyes on both the puck and the players and too much time passes betwee…

- Andy Rooney

Being kind is more important than being right.

- Andy Rooney

Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

- Andy Rooney

Small daily happenings make life spectacular.... start enjoying the small things in life!

- Andy Rooney

I'm already suspicious of anyone who thinks he or she is smart enough to be president. You'd have to have some ego to believe that about yourself.

- Andy Rooney