I've never not finished a masturbatory session or a pizza. Those are the two things I've never left behind.
Don’t do your best, do my best. - Adam Carolla
Don’t do your best, do my best.
- Adam Carolla
People who fail, excel at avoiding opportunity. - Adam Carolla
People who fail, excel at avoiding opportunity.
If you're conservative in Hollywood, you're on a list of people who need to be put in their place. - Adam Carolla
If you're conservative in Hollywood, you're on a list of people who need to be put in their place.
Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you're gay. - Adam Carolla
Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you're gay.
I am not a good cue card reader. - Adam Carolla
I am not a good cue card reader.
No one is depressed when they're being chased by a bear. - Adam Carolla
No one is depressed when they're being chased by a bear.
The truth is we're all probably more creative than we realize, except we spend our lives watching TV or reading somebody else's book. We never pick u… - Adam Carolla
The truth is we're all probably more creative than we realize, except we spend our lives watching TV or reading somebody else's book. We never pick u…
Lets not focus on saving a nickel... lets focus on making a buck. - Adam Carolla
Lets not focus on saving a nickel... lets focus on making a buck.
I don't think I've ever seen pie advertised. That's how you know it's good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts. They advertise the bejeeezus… - Adam Carolla
I don't think I've ever seen pie advertised. That's how you know it's good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts. They advertise the bejeeezus…
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