I've never really considered doing stand up, but I have done readings/spoken word things fairly often in which I'll just tell a bunch of stories and run off at the mouth. I'm a big tangent person.
I'm nicer on tax day than I am when I'm on deadline. - Laurie Notaro
I'm nicer on tax day than I am when I'm on deadline.
- Laurie Notaro
You're fighting a battle of good and evil with your dog pimp! Your only weapon is the shimmy! There is power in the shimmy! Make him fear your shimmy… - Laurie Notaro
You're fighting a battle of good and evil with your dog pimp! Your only weapon is the shimmy! There is power in the shimmy! Make him fear your shimmy…
I want a man as nice as my retarded dog, but one that doesn't crap on the floor. - Laurie Notaro
I want a man as nice as my retarded dog, but one that doesn't crap on the floor.
Justin Halpern tosses lightning bolts of laughter out of his pocket like he is shooting dice in a back alley. In one sweep of a paragraph, he ranges … - Laurie Notaro
Justin Halpern tosses lightning bolts of laughter out of his pocket like he is shooting dice in a back alley. In one sweep of a paragraph, he ranges …
My family were staunch believers in physical violence, not automatic violence, and we had a Safeway around the corner, so we never really needed to k… - Laurie Notaro
My family were staunch believers in physical violence, not automatic violence, and we had a Safeway around the corner, so we never really needed to k…
Everyone knows there's only one thing less welcome on a stage than a mime, and that's a clown, because everyone knows that clowns eat people. - Laurie Notaro
Everyone knows there's only one thing less welcome on a stage than a mime, and that's a clown, because everyone knows that clowns eat people.
I could croak with no warning, and the only tragedy anyone would experience would be showing up on the last day of my estate sale simply to discover … - Laurie Notaro
I could croak with no warning, and the only tragedy anyone would experience would be showing up on the last day of my estate sale simply to discover …
If you really believe in what you're doing, work hard, take nothing personally, and if something blocks your route, find another. Never give up. - Laurie Notaro
If you really believe in what you're doing, work hard, take nothing personally, and if something blocks your route, find another. Never give up.
I have more faith in my bra than I have in my accountant. - Laurie Notaro
I have more faith in my bra than I have in my accountant.
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