I'm not scared of dying, because I'm an atheist. I won't even know I'm dead. You know why? Because I'll be fùckin' dead.

- Jim Jefferies

Do you think pandas know they're Chinese and they're taking the one child policy a bit too seriously?

- Jim Jefferies

Here's the thing about people who believe in god... They're idiots.

- Jim Jefferies

We have a drinking game in Australia, it's called drinking.

- Jim Jefferies

If you hate gay marriage, then don't marry a gay person.

- Jim Jefferies

I always get a little bit pissed off when stand-up comedy is not recognised as being as good a craft as being an actor. We give Oscars to people and …

- Jim Jefferies

I've never been the type of guy that had a lot of friends or was part of the cool group.

- Jim Jefferies

God built the world, but he did not know it was round.

- Jim Jefferies

Christians are like a thirteen year old kid who still believes in Santa.

- Jim Jefferies