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I've been on the planet for 40 years now, and I'm still none the wiser as to what it's all about really. I've never worried about life's big questions. People at my age sit about pondering, 'Why are we here?' The only time I ever asked myself that is when Suzanne booked us a surprise holiday to Lanzarote.

Karl Pilkington
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Karl Pilkington's Popular Quotes

Yesterday, I did some painting then went out to buy an onion and came home and watched 'University Challenge.' The onion was probably the highlight.

- Karl Pilkington

It's weird how me and that insect are miles apart in terms of lifestyle, yet we both like a biscuit.

- Karl Pilkington

Pigeons: They've got wings, but they walk a lot.

- Karl Pilkington

I find that if you just talk, your mouth comes up with stuff.

- Karl Pilkington

People who live in a glass house have to answer the door.

- Karl Pilkington

If you’re worrying about the wrinkles on your bollocks I’d say your life’s pretty good

- Karl Pilkington

I saw a bee have a heart attack.

- Karl Pilkington

If you had five photos of anuses, I could not point mine out.

- Karl Pilkington

If you don't have a plan, you can end up doing some interesting things.

- Karl Pilkington
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