I was talking to Jesus, and I said, Jesus, I feel like no one will ever accept me. And Jesus looked at me and said, You know what my theory is? Accept me or go to hell.
If a comedian tells a joke that you find funny, you laugh. If he tells a joke you do not find funny, dont laugh. Or you could possibly go as far as g… - Gilbert Gottfried
If a comedian tells a joke that you find funny, you laugh. If he tells a joke you do not find funny, dont laugh. Or you could possibly go as far as g…
- Gilbert Gottfried
A man goes to the doctor for a check, and the doctor exams him and says I've got bad news, you've got cancer and alzheimers. The man goes Thank god I… - Gilbert Gottfried
A man goes to the doctor for a check, and the doctor exams him and says I've got bad news, you've got cancer and alzheimers. The man goes Thank god I…
I think a lot of people have too much time on their hands. - Gilbert Gottfried
I think a lot of people have too much time on their hands.
I always felt bad for Mother Teresa. Mother Teresa lived a whole life helping starving children and dying villages, but she could never be declared a… - Gilbert Gottfried
I always felt bad for Mother Teresa. Mother Teresa lived a whole life helping starving children and dying villages, but she could never be declared a…
I can't even find someone for a platonic relationship, much less the kind where someone wants to see me naked. - Gilbert Gottfried
I can't even find someone for a platonic relationship, much less the kind where someone wants to see me naked.
I always try to avoid anything that has to do with my life. - Gilbert Gottfried
I always try to avoid anything that has to do with my life.
Every time something pops in my head, I think twice about it and I do it anyway. - Gilbert Gottfried
Every time something pops in my head, I think twice about it and I do it anyway.
People have many theories about comedy, but being just plain funny is the one most important thing. - Gilbert Gottfried
People have many theories about comedy, but being just plain funny is the one most important thing.
At the Last Supper how come no one sat on the other side of the table? See, I think originally there were people sitting on the other side but those … - Gilbert Gottfried
At the Last Supper how come no one sat on the other side of the table? See, I think originally there were people sitting on the other side but those …
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