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Jim Pagliaroni joined the club tonight and is going to be a welcome addition. He was describing a girl that one of the ballplayers had been out with and said, “It's hard to say exactly what she looked like. She was kind of Joe Torre with tits.” This joke can only be explained with a picture of Joe Torre. But I'm not sure any exist. He dissolves camera lenses.

Jim Bouton
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Jim Bouton's Popular Quotes

If you had a pill that would guarantee a pitcher 20 wins, but might take five years off his life, he'd take it.

- Jim Bouton

For a hundred years, the owners screwed the players. For 25 years, the players have screwed the owners-they've got 75 years to go.

- Jim Bouton

It never hurts to apologize, especially if you don't mean it.

- Jim Bouton

After I won 21 games, I said, "This isn't that hard actually. I can do this every year for maybe 10, 15 years." To tell you the truth I thought I was…

- Jim Bouton

The older they get, the better they were when they were younger.

- Jim Bouton

You're only as smart as your ERA.

- Jim Bouton

Statistics are about as interesting as first base coaches.

- Jim Bouton

Opening day -- or Opening Day. Depending on how you feel about it.

- Jim Bouton

Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field?

- Jim Bouton
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