Generally speaking, I think it is fair to say that I am a friend to the creatures of the Earth when I am not busy eating them or wearing them.

- John Hodgman

I actually own a copy of my own book; that's how dedicated I am as an author.

- John Hodgman

I don't know if you've ever been shoved into the bow of a nutshell pram, a boat that is very easily almost liftable with one hand, and quite tippy, a…

- John Hodgman

Reality, while generally probable, is not always interesting.

- John Hodgman

Here's the thing: I am not only a creature of civilization, I'm an asthmatic person. I will only live so long as I have stockpiled the proper inhaler…

- John Hodgman

What I collect? Interesting jobs. Always to my thrill and excitement, but ultimately to my exhaustion, I collect interesting jobs. If an interesting …

- John Hodgman

Houdini, the magician who debunked magic, could not bear to see the great rationalist [Arthur Conan] Doyle enchanted by ghosts and frauds. And so he …

- John Hodgman

I suspect that when the truth ceases to be heartbreakingly funny, we will be in a better place and a happier society over all.

- John Hodgman

Specificity is the soul of narrative.

- John Hodgman