You have to remember, Frank Sinatra is 82 years old, which is 240 in your years. He's lived three lifetimes! He has good and bad days. He can't run .…

- Tom Dreesen

Karaoke bars combine two of the nation's greatest evils: people who shouldn't drink with people who shouldn't sing.

- Tom Dreesen

We were so poor we had no hot water. But it didn't matter because we had no bathtub to put it in anyway.

- Tom Dreesen

My father told me marijuana would cause me brain damage - because if he caught me doing it he was going to break my head.

- Tom Dreesen