If Elvis is alive, Tupac is alive. I saw Tupac on 46th Street selling Biggie t-shirts 2 for 10 dollars.

- Donnell Rawlings

Tiger Woods is a billionaire. Do you know how much ass you can get with a billion dollars? I know guys with $20 and a pack of Newports who'd try to s…

- Donnell Rawlings

That's why when I talk to younger comics, and they say, 'Well I need this and this, and I need so and so,' I tell them they don't need nothing. All y…

- Donnell Rawlings

A kid asked me for advise about getting into entertainment? I said you better know how to be happy being broke!

- Donnell Rawlings

Chicks can make you flip more than any drug would.

- Donnell Rawlings

I had a dream this girl was cheating on me! I woke up and went back to sleep to find him, he kicked my ass in my dream!

- Donnell Rawlings

Tiger Woods is stupid; not for cheating, but for having one cell phone. What type of player you know has one cell phone?

- Donnell Rawlings

The better alternative to fighting a guy, go have sex with his girlfriend. That's how you knock a dude out!

- Donnell Rawlings

Live life to the fullest everyday, 'cause we never know what day will be our last.

- Donnell Rawlings