Inspirational Quotes, Motivational Sayings, and Wise Words for Daily Inspiration

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The kids say golf taught them this and that. I get it with the military: A guy joins the military because he needs discipline and has to find himself. But don't tell me, 'Golf helps you find yourself.' I've been playing my whole life, and I'm still looking for myself.

Lewis Black's Popular Quotes

When I'm funny is when I'm angriest.

- Lewis Black

In my lifetime, we've gone from Eisenhower to George W. Bush. We've gone from John F. Kennedy to Al Gore. If this is evolution, I believe that in twe…

- Lewis Black

Since there are so many idiots out there, you may actually start to think you're crazy. You are not. They are idiots.

- Lewis Black

I'm a happy person but an angry citizen.

- Lewis Black

Stupid presidents, smart presidents, white presidents, black presidents - doesn't work! What this country needs is a crazy Third World dictator. And …

- Lewis Black

That's the funny thing about religion: it doesn't matter what you say, you're going to upset someone.

- Lewis Black

Nyquil comes in two colors, red and green, and it's the only thing on the planet that tastes like red and green.

- Lewis Black

I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.

- Lewis Black

I like my friends because they make me feel normal, even though I'm not.

- Lewis Black