Kids? It's like living with homeless people. They're cute but they just chase you around all day long going, 'Can I have a dollar? I'm missing a shoe! I need a ride!
The bus scares me. Way too many gross people on the bus. Sixty-five people on the bus and I was the last one on. I felt like calling Unsolved Mysteri… - Kathleen Madigan
The bus scares me. Way too many gross people on the bus. Sixty-five people on the bus and I was the last one on. I felt like calling Unsolved Mysteri…
- Kathleen Madigan
People entertain me more than I entertain them. - Kathleen Madigan
People entertain me more than I entertain them.
I always give homeless people money, and my friends yell at me, 'He's only going to buy more alcohol and cigarettes.' And I'm thinking, 'Oh, like I w… - Kathleen Madigan
I always give homeless people money, and my friends yell at me, 'He's only going to buy more alcohol and cigarettes.' And I'm thinking, 'Oh, like I w…
Kids? It's like living with homeless people. They're cute but they just chase you around all day long going, 'Can I have a dollar? I'm missing a shoe… - Kathleen Madigan
Kids? It's like living with homeless people. They're cute but they just chase you around all day long going, 'Can I have a dollar? I'm missing a shoe…
I don't have a computer. I'm going to wait until that whole fad is over. I was suckered in on the Pet Rock. Not twice, people. - Kathleen Madigan
I don't have a computer. I'm going to wait until that whole fad is over. I was suckered in on the Pet Rock. Not twice, people.
I don't really write jokes. I wait for stuff to happen in life, and then I tell it on stage. - Kathleen Madigan
I don't really write jokes. I wait for stuff to happen in life, and then I tell it on stage.
I never have goals or dreams. My sister says it's pathetic and lazy, but I had a goal, to tell jokes to pay bills and not have to live in a trailer. … - Kathleen Madigan
I never have goals or dreams. My sister says it's pathetic and lazy, but I had a goal, to tell jokes to pay bills and not have to live in a trailer. …
I would like to be an FBI profiler. I'm fascinated with psychology, but I wouldn't want to deal with people and their problems in my office. I like t… - Kathleen Madigan
I would like to be an FBI profiler. I'm fascinated with psychology, but I wouldn't want to deal with people and their problems in my office. I like t…
Some people are mean, and when you look at their page, they only write mean things, but I have a great time with a twitter person. It's not even to p… - Kathleen Madigan
Some people are mean, and when you look at their page, they only write mean things, but I have a great time with a twitter person. It's not even to p…
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