a laotong relationship is made by choice...when we first looked in each other's eyes in the palanquin I felt something special pass between us--like a spark to start a fire or a seed to grow rice. But a single spark is not enough to warm a room nor is a single seed enough to grow a fruitful crop. Deep love--true-heart love--must grow.
Interpretation
A laotong relationship is a deep connection that requires nourishment and time to flourish.
In this quote, Lisa See reflects on the significance of a laotong relationship, emphasizing that the initial spark of attraction or connection between two people is just the beginning. For a true and deep love to develop, like a fire requiring kindling or a crop needing consistent care, it must be nurtured over time to blossom into something meaningful and lasting.
In practice
In a wedding speech, one might say, 'Remember that deep love must grow, just like a crop needs care over time.'
Nu shu means women's writing. And it was a secret writing system that was invented by women, used by women and kept a secret by women in one very remote county in China for a thousand years. It's the only language that was invented and used by women to have been found anywhere in the world.
I am still learning about love. I thought I understood it--not just mother love, but the love for one's parents, for one's husband, and for one's laotong. I've experienced the other types of love--pity love, respectful love and gratitude love. But looking at our secret fan with its messages written between Snow Flower and me over many years, I see that I didn't value the most important love--deep-heart love.
When I knew I couldn't suffer another moment of pain, and tears fell on my bloody bindings, my mother spoke softly into my ear, encouraging me to go one more hour, one more day, one more week, reminding me of the rewards I would have if I carried on a little longer. In this way, she taught me how to endure — not just the physical trials of footbinding and childbearing but the more torturous pain of the heart, mind, and soul.
Down on your knees, and thank heaven, fasting, for a good man's love.
There’s a ghost of a dream that you don’t even try to shake free off because you’re too in love with the way she haunts you.
Don't tell me you're not beautiful. You're the kind of beautiful the blind would see if we could figure out some way to give them three seconds of sight.
I want it to be less about sexuality and more about being comfortable in who you fall in love with. If I meet someone and I like them, I don’t care if they’re a boy or a girl. You should never, ever apologize for anything that makes you happy.
If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger.
I love all things, not because they are passionate or sweet-smelling but because, I don't know, because this ocean is yours, and mine: these buttons and wheels and little forgotten treasures, fans upon whose feathers love has scattered its blossoms, glasses, knives and scissors -- all bear the trace of someone's fingers on their handle or surface, the trace of a distant hand lost in the depths of forgetfulness.
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