As I said in my last book, birds are mean. They're the only pet that, when they escape, the owners are relieved. You can tell a species is evil by doing this simple math. If my blond lab Molly was the size of T-Rex, that would just mean more kibble, more work for the gardener in the backyard, and a harder time moving her to my wife's side of the bed at night. If birds were the size of a T-Rex, the streets would be littered with human remains.
Don’t do your best, do my best. - Adam Carolla
Don’t do your best, do my best.
- Adam Carolla
People who fail, excel at avoiding opportunity. - Adam Carolla
People who fail, excel at avoiding opportunity.
If you're conservative in Hollywood, you're on a list of people who need to be put in their place. - Adam Carolla
If you're conservative in Hollywood, you're on a list of people who need to be put in their place.
Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you're gay. - Adam Carolla
Wearing Crocs is like getting blown by a dude. It feels great until you look down and realize you're gay.
No one is depressed when they're being chased by a bear. - Adam Carolla
No one is depressed when they're being chased by a bear.
I am not a good cue card reader. - Adam Carolla
I am not a good cue card reader.
The truth is we're all probably more creative than we realize, except we spend our lives watching TV or reading somebody else's book. We never pick u… - Adam Carolla
The truth is we're all probably more creative than we realize, except we spend our lives watching TV or reading somebody else's book. We never pick u…
Lets not focus on saving a nickel... lets focus on making a buck. - Adam Carolla
Lets not focus on saving a nickel... lets focus on making a buck.
I don't think I've ever seen pie advertised. That's how you know it's good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts. They advertise the bejeeezus… - Adam Carolla
I don't think I've ever seen pie advertised. That's how you know it's good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts. They advertise the bejeeezus…
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