Last year people won more than one billion dollars playing poker. And casinos made twenty-seven billion just by being around those people.
I dislike Ted Cruz as much as the next everyone. But that's no reason to be rude to Ted's loving wife and possible hostage. - Samantha Bee
I dislike Ted Cruz as much as the next everyone. But that's no reason to be rude to Ted's loving wife and possible hostage.
- Samantha Bee
I find Donald Trump so haphazard, and that keeps me up at night. - Samantha Bee
I find Donald Trump so haphazard, and that keeps me up at night.
It's like you can't even go on the radio anymore and condemn a whole subset of people to hell without getting some blowback. - Samantha Bee
It's like you can't even go on the radio anymore and condemn a whole subset of people to hell without getting some blowback.
The worst thing you can do to a dictator is laugh at him. - Samantha Bee
The worst thing you can do to a dictator is laugh at him.
Christmas: It's the only religious holiday that's also a federal holiday. That way, Christians can go to their services, and everyone else can sit at… - Samantha Bee
Christmas: It's the only religious holiday that's also a federal holiday. That way, Christians can go to their services, and everyone else can sit at…
There's a danger zone if you take yourself too seriously. It's a terrible trap to fall into. I think it's the death of comedy. - Samantha Bee
There's a danger zone if you take yourself too seriously. It's a terrible trap to fall into. I think it's the death of comedy.
Kids do have to learn that life is a humiliating charade of endless disappointment and tragedy ultimately culminating in pain, decay, and death. My p… - Samantha Bee
Kids do have to learn that life is a humiliating charade of endless disappointment and tragedy ultimately culminating in pain, decay, and death. My p…
Sex with my first boyfriend was a little bit like learning how to put in a tampon, but only half as enjoyable! - Samantha Bee
Sex with my first boyfriend was a little bit like learning how to put in a tampon, but only half as enjoyable!
I'm capable of living in the moment. And I'm especially capable of living in the moment of sitting on my sofa and watching other people's moments. - Samantha Bee
I'm capable of living in the moment. And I'm especially capable of living in the moment of sitting on my sofa and watching other people's moments.
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