The latest report says the results of an investigation will be released in three or four weeks. That's a long time for fruit flies and the press.

- Denis Boyles

With their endless vacations and pint-sized workweeks, Europe can't produce enough of anything - including more Europeans - to save themselves from d…

- Denis Boyles

Europeans hate the way Americans talk. They think we're loud and uncouth and they don't like our jokes, except for Michael Moore. Plus, they resent t…

- Denis Boyles

If stupid hurt, the whole planet would be a world of pain.

- Denis Boyles