Of late I appear To have reached that stage When people who look old Who are only my age.

- Richard Armour

When it comes to eating, you can sometimes help yourself more by helping yourself less.

- Richard Armour

If I ever make a hole in one, A thrill that I've never known, I won't be believed and I'll have no fun, For I'm sure to be playing alone.

- Richard Armour

Children are supposed to help hold a marriage together. They do this in a number of ways. For instance, they demand so much attention that a husband …

- Richard Armour

Politics, it seems to me, for years, or all too long, has been concerned with right or left instead of right or wrong.

- Richard Armour

Shake and shake the catsup bottle none will come and then a lot'll.

- Richard Armour

A rumor is one thing that gets thicker instead of thinner as it is spread.

- Richard Armour

That money talks, I'll not deny, I heard it once: It said, 'Goodbye'.

- Richard Armour

Beauty is only skin deep, and the world is full of thin skinned people.

- Richard Armour