If the crowd is full of assholes, it's no fun. If the crowd is cool, it's great.

- Eric Andre

I can't tell if the world is worse now or if we just have more cameras. There are cameras everywhere, so now the world knows how bad the world is.

- Eric Andre

Wonder Showzen is one of my favorite shows of all time. When I first saw it, I thought it was so funny and new and original and edgy and insane and s…

- Eric Andre

I'm an elderly Jewish lesbian trapped in a 33 year old nerd's body.

- Eric Andre

I will smoke crack before I die. I want to see what all the hubbub is about.

- Eric Andre

All motivation is defined by intention. If the intention is to hurt, divide, or belittle, it's wrong; if it's an attempt to cope with or make sense o…

- Eric Andre

I'm an Aries. I need everybody to like me.

- Eric Andre

Let's hit the joke once and move on to the next joke and just keep it where we have as many jokes per square inch as possible.

- Eric Andre

Like I said, a sketch is one joke. They shouldn't really be more than a minute, two minutes. There are some shows where the sketch goes on for five m…

- Eric Andre