Life is truly a ride. We're all strapped in and no one can stop it. When the doctor slaps your behind, he's ripping your ticket and away you go. As you make each passage from youth to adulthood to maturity, sometimes you put your arms up and scream, sometimes you just hang on to that bar in front of you. But the ride is the thing. I think the most you can hope for at the end of life is that your hair's messed, you're out of breath, and you didn't throw up.
According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means t… - Jerry Seinfeld
According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means t…
- Jerry Seinfeld
Keep your head up in failure and your head down in success. - Jerry Seinfeld
Keep your head up in failure and your head down in success.
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague. - Jerry Seinfeld
If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
Would somebody please explain to me those signs that say, "No animals allowed except for Seeing Eye Dogs?" Who is that sign for? Is it for the dog, o… - Jerry Seinfeld
Would somebody please explain to me those signs that say, "No animals allowed except for Seeing Eye Dogs?" Who is that sign for? Is it for the dog, o…
Having a 2 year old is like having a blender that you don't have the top for. - Jerry Seinfeld
Having a 2 year old is like having a blender that you don't have the top for.
I wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup? - Jerry Seinfeld
I wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
If professional wrestling did not exist, could you come up with this idea? Could you envision the popularity of huge men in tiny bathing suits, prete… - Jerry Seinfeld
If professional wrestling did not exist, could you come up with this idea? Could you envision the popularity of huge men in tiny bathing suits, prete…
Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom. - Jerry Seinfeld
Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.
Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason. - Jerry Seinfeld
Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.
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