You want to fall in love with a shoe, go ahead. A shoe can't love you back, but, on the other hand, a shoe can't hurt you too deeply either. And ther…

- Allan Sherman

Anyone who calls it "sexual intercourse" can't possibly be interested in actually doing it. You might as well announce you're ready for lunch by proc…

- Allan Sherman

A committee is a group of individuals who all put in a perfectly good color, and it comes out gray.

- Allan Sherman

Adultery - which is the only grounds for divorce in New York - is not grounds for divorce in California. As a matter of fact, adultery in Southern Ca…

- Allan Sherman

You may be wondering why I went from over there to over here. Well, that was choreography.

- Allan Sherman

Do not make a stingy sandwich; pile the cold cuts high; so you should see salami coming through the rye.

- Allan Sherman

Success is like winning the sweepstakes or getting killed in an automobile crash. It always happens to somebody else.

- Allan Sherman

A "Normal" person is the sort of person that might be designed by a committee. You know, "Each person puts in a pretty color and it comes out gray."

- Allan Sherman

The head coach don't want no sissies, so he reads to us from something called Ulysses.

- Allan Sherman