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You fall in love with somebody who fits within what I call your 'love map,' an unconscious list of traits that you build in childhood as you grow up. And I also think that you gravitate to certain people, actually, with somewhat complementary brain systems.
Helen Fisher
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Interpretation

What this quote means

Romantic attraction is influenced by subconscious preferences formed during childhood.

Helen Fisher's quote suggests that our capacity to fall in love is guided by an internal blueprint or 'love map' established during our formative years. This map includes traits and characteristics that we unconsciously seek in potential partners, and it implies that our romantic connections may also be influenced by the compatibility of our brain systems, creating an innate attraction to certain individuals.

Themes

LoveAttractionRelationshipsChildhoodBrain Systems

In practice

Example use cases

In a dating seminar discussing unconscious preferences in romantic partners.

More from Helen Fisher

[Women] tend to collect more pieces of data when they think, put them into more complex patterns, see more options and outcomes. They tend to be contextual, holistic thinkers.
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People live for love. They kill for love. They die for love. They have songs, poems, novels, sculptures, paintings, myths, legends. It's one of the most powerful brain systems on Earth for both great joy and great sorrow.
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Your sweetheart calls you by another's name. His eyes linger too long on your best friend. He talks with excitement about a girl at work. And the fire catches. Jealousy - that sickening combination of possessiveness, suspicion, rage, and humiliation - can overtake your mind and threaten your very core as you contemplate your rival.
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Most of us make up our minds in the first three minutes of meeting someone whether there's a potential for a relationship.
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People have often asked me whether what I know about love has spoiled it for me. And I just simply say, 'Hardly.' You can know every single ingredient in a piece of chocolate cake, and then when you sit down and eat that cake, you can still feel that joy.
Helen FisherRead

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