The dead they sleep a long, long sleep; The dead they rest, and their rest is deep; The dead have peace, but the living weep.

- Samuel Hoffenstein

What a lucky thing the wheel was invented before the automobile; otherwise can you imagine the awful screeching?

- Samuel Hoffenstein

THE HEART'S DEAD ARE NEVER BURIED.

- Samuel Hoffenstein

Babies haven't any hair; Old men's heads are just as bare; between the cradle and the grave lie a haircut and a shave.

- Samuel Hoffenstein

When you're away, I'm restless, lonely, wretched, bored, dejected; only here's the rub, my darling dear, I feel the same when you're near.

- Samuel Hoffenstein

I burned my candle at both ends, And now have neither foes nor friends.

- Samuel Hoffenstein

My soul is dark with stormy riot: directly traced over to diet.

- Samuel Hoffenstein

Breathes there a man with hide so tough Who says two sexes aren't enough?

- Samuel Hoffenstein