And you know what the worst part is? I never learned to read!

- Wayne Campbell

Garth, marriage is punishment for shoplifting in some countries!

- Wayne Campbell

I thought I had mono for a year...Turns out I was just really bored.

- Wayne Campbell

Led Zeppelin didn't write tunes that everybody liked, they left that to the Bee Gees.

- Wayne Campbell

If you label me, you negate me?

- Wayne Campbell

Am I supposed to be a man? Am I supposed to say, 'It's okay, I don't mind, I don't mind'? Well, I mind! I mind big time! And you know what the worst …

- Wayne Campbell

I've had plenty of jo-jobs. Nothing I'd call a career. Let me put it this way. I have an extensive collection of name tags and hair nets.

- Wayne Campbell