Handicap: an allocation of strokes on one or more holes that permits two golfers of very different ability to do equally poorly on the same course.

- Henry Beard

When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one more club or two more balls.

- Henry Beard

A ball will always come to rest halfway down a hill, unless there is sand or water at the bottom.

- Henry Beard

If the wind is in your face, you swing too hard just to get the ball through it; if the wind is at your back, you swing too hard just to see how far …

- Henry Beard

Chef: Any cook who swears in French.

- Henry Beard

Few golfers are born with the natural talent for hitting the ball, but every player is blessed with the God-given ability to throw a club.

- Henry Beard

The true definition of a perennial: Any plant which, had it lived, would have bloomed year after year.

- Henry Beard

Duffers who consistently shank their balls are urged to buy and study Shanks - No Thanks by R.K. Hoffman, or in extreme cases, M.S. Howard's excellen…

- Henry Beard

Bets lengthen putts and shorten drives.

- Henry Beard