Men wake up aroused in the morning. We can't help it. We just wake up and we want you. And the women are thinking, "How can he want me the way I look in the morning?" It's because we can't see you. We have no blood anywhere near our optic nerve.
Small daily happenings make life spectacular.... start enjoying the small things in life! - Andy Rooney
Small daily happenings make life spectacular.... start enjoying the small things in life!
- Andy Rooney
I've learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes. - Andy Rooney
I've learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
I'm in a position of feeling secure enough so that I can say what I think is right and if so many people think it's wrong that I get fired, well, I'v… - Andy Rooney
I'm in a position of feeling secure enough so that I can say what I think is right and if so many people think it's wrong that I get fired, well, I'v…
Being kind is more important than being right. - Andy Rooney
Being kind is more important than being right.
I like ice hockey, but it's a frustrating game to watch. It's hard to keep your eyes on both the puck and the players and too much time passes betwee… - Andy Rooney
I like ice hockey, but it's a frustrating game to watch. It's hard to keep your eyes on both the puck and the players and too much time passes betwee…
I've learned... That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand. - Andy Rooney
I've learned... That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
It is possible to be dumb and be a college president. - Andy Rooney
It is possible to be dumb and be a college president.
Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them. - Andy Rooney
Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
I'm already suspicious of anyone who thinks he or she is smart enough to be president. You'd have to have some ego to believe that about yourself. - Andy Rooney
I'm already suspicious of anyone who thinks he or she is smart enough to be president. You'd have to have some ego to believe that about yourself.
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