Modern man threw a brick through his own window in order to sell himself a burglar alarm.
A lot of comedians, when they have a bad gig, will blame everything but themselves. They'll blame the crowd, or the room was wrong, it had a weird vi… - Allen Carr
A lot of comedians, when they have a bad gig, will blame everything but themselves. They'll blame the crowd, or the room was wrong, it had a weird vi…
- Allen Carr
I like old people falling over, that's what makes me laugh. - Allen Carr
I like old people falling over, that's what makes me laugh.
I hate Shakespeare. I think Shakespeare's rubbish. - Allen Carr
I hate Shakespeare. I think Shakespeare's rubbish.
I haven't really got much get up and go. I can't believe I'm on the telly. I'm so lazy. - Allen Carr
I haven't really got much get up and go. I can't believe I'm on the telly. I'm so lazy.
Wouldn’t that be an incredibly stupid thing to do? To say ‘I never want to smoke again’, then spend the rest of your life saying ‘I’d love a cigarett… - Allen Carr
Wouldn’t that be an incredibly stupid thing to do? To say ‘I never want to smoke again’, then spend the rest of your life saying ‘I’d love a cigarett…
I've met Nicole Kidman, Elton John, loads of people. - Allen Carr
I've met Nicole Kidman, Elton John, loads of people.
I was at college doing performing arts, and just spending all my time mucking about, and the lecturers thought I would be pretty good at stand-up, so… - Allen Carr
I was at college doing performing arts, and just spending all my time mucking about, and the lecturers thought I would be pretty good at stand-up, so…
The whole business of smoking is like forcing yourself to wear tight shoes just to get the pleasure of taking them off. - Allen Carr
The whole business of smoking is like forcing yourself to wear tight shoes just to get the pleasure of taking them off.
I was quite pleased that Prince Philip didn't say anything like, I hate queers! He was quite well behaved. - Allen Carr
I was quite pleased that Prince Philip didn't say anything like, I hate queers! He was quite well behaved.
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