My mom made me think I was gorgeous. When I was younger she was like, 'Look at you! You're an angel. You sparkle!' And I was like, 'I do!' You believe your parents.
I don't feel any sense of competition at all, and that might be my naïveté, but I don't feel pitted against anyone at all. - Amy Schumer
I don't feel any sense of competition at all, and that might be my naïveté, but I don't feel pitted against anyone at all.
- Amy Schumer
I just want to get the most money I can. - Amy Schumer
I just want to get the most money I can.
I finally just slept with my high school crush. But I swear; now he expects me to go to his graduation - like I know where I'm going to be in three y… - Amy Schumer
I finally just slept with my high school crush. But I swear; now he expects me to go to his graduation - like I know where I'm going to be in three y…
I want to make women laugh. I want to make them feel beautiful in their own skin. I want to empower them to use their voice and not apologize. - Amy Schumer
I want to make women laugh. I want to make them feel beautiful in their own skin. I want to empower them to use their voice and not apologize.
Nothing good ever happens in a blackout. I've never woken up and been like, 'What is this Pilates mat doing out?' - Amy Schumer
Nothing good ever happens in a blackout. I've never woken up and been like, 'What is this Pilates mat doing out?'
You know what the worst part about my drinking is? When I'm drunk I slur. You know, like I say racial slurs. Wow, nobody likes that at a barbeque. - Amy Schumer
You know what the worst part about my drinking is? When I'm drunk I slur. You know, like I say racial slurs. Wow, nobody likes that at a barbeque.
Everyone is allowed to have their own boundaries. You just are. No matter how you dress, no matter what you say or anything, and I feel strongly abou… - Amy Schumer
Everyone is allowed to have their own boundaries. You just are. No matter how you dress, no matter what you say or anything, and I feel strongly abou…
Don't feel bad for me. I think I'm, like, so pretty. - Amy Schumer
Don't feel bad for me. I think I'm, like, so pretty.
I have an excuse, actually, why I've been drinking so much. I haven't said this out loud yet - this is exciting - I'm drinking for two. Thank you, wo… - Amy Schumer
I have an excuse, actually, why I've been drinking so much. I haven't said this out loud yet - this is exciting - I'm drinking for two. Thank you, wo…
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