A newspaper is a circulating library with high blood pressure.

- Arthur Baer

A plumber is an adventurer who traces leaky pipes to their source.

- Arthur Baer

If you demand money from someone in exchange for your silence, it's called 'blackmail'. If your lawyer demands money from someone in exchange for you…

- Arthur Baer

His insomnia was so bad, he couldn't sleep during office hours.

- Arthur Baer

It was as helpful as throwing a drowning man both ends of the rope.

- Arthur Baer

A good neighbor is a fellow who smiles at you over the back fence, but doesn't climb over it.

- Arthur Baer

An empty cab drove up and Sarah Bernhardt got out.

- Arthur Baer

About a veteran player thrown out trying to steal second: There was larceny in his heart, but his legs were honest.

- Arthur Baer

Lefty Grove could throw a lamb chop past a wolf.

- Arthur Baer