Now I know why women get their ears pierced. Once they've survived this ordeal of mutilation, they can face the discomforts of childbirth with equani…

- C.D. Payne

I have found that people who can successfully resist temptation invariably lead depressingly stunted lives.

- C.D. Payne

I take it, then, Vijay, you are still a virgin?'Yes, and I find it extremely galling. When Gandhi was my age he had already been married three years.…

- C.D. Payne

Confession can be good for the soul, but it can exact a heavy toll on friendships.

- C.D. Payne

Do you suppose the human race invented boredom to make the prospect of death more palatable?

- C.D. Payne

One of the tragic consequences of divorce is that the kids are legally obligated by the courts to spend a fixed amount of time with their dads. In no…

- C.D. Payne

Consider, if you will, the morning boner. What a metaphor of hope and renewal! How can anyone give way to despair when one’s groin greets each day wi…

- C.D. Payne