My mother tried to kill me when I was a baby. She denied it. She said she thought the plastic bag would keep me fresh.
I'm rather relaxed about death. From quite an early age I've regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth cert… - Bob Monkhouse
I'm rather relaxed about death. From quite an early age I've regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth cert…
- Bob Monkhouse
When the inventor of the drawing board messed things up, what did he go back to? - Bob Monkhouse
When the inventor of the drawing board messed things up, what did he go back to?
With my wife it was sex, sex, sex...Yes, three times in 35 years. - Bob Monkhouse
With my wife it was sex, sex, sex...Yes, three times in 35 years.
They all laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well, they're not laughing now. - Bob Monkhouse
They all laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well, they're not laughing now.
Growing old is compulsory - growing up is optional. - Bob Monkhouse
Growing old is compulsory - growing up is optional.
Personally, I don't think there's intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different from this one? - Bob Monkhouse
Personally, I don't think there's intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different from this one?
I got a horse for my wife. I thought it was a fair swap. - Bob Monkhouse
I got a horse for my wife. I thought it was a fair swap.
It got up to 94 degrees today – that's pretty good at my age. - Bob Monkhouse
It got up to 94 degrees today – that's pretty good at my age.
I'm not saying my wife's a bad cook, but she uses a smoke alarm as a timer. - Bob Monkhouse
I'm not saying my wife's a bad cook, but she uses a smoke alarm as a timer.
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