Commercials on television are similar to sex and taxes; the more talk there is about them, the less likely they are to be curbed.

- Jack Gould

One does not allow the plumbers to decide the temperature, depth and timing of a bath.

- Jack Gould

Why not pick up the new full-length motion picture at the corner drugstore and then run it through one's home TV receiver?

- Jack Gould

Mr. Presley has no discernible singing ability . . . For the ear he is an unutterable bore, not nearly so talented as Frank Sinatra back in the latte…

- Jack Gould

It's like being called up in the draft. The peculiar joy of hemorrhaging without bleeding starts when the evil little red light glows on the monstrou…

- Jack Gould

Mr. Presley has no discernible singing ability. His specialty is rhythm songs which he renders in an undistinguished whine; his phrasing, if it can b…

- Jack Gould

Mr. Presley has no discernible singing ability.

- Jack Gould

There is something supremely reassuring about television; the worst is always yet to come.

- Jack Gould