My hometown was so dull that one time the tide went out and never came back.
A human being is nothing but a story with skin around it. - Fred Allen
A human being is nothing but a story with skin around it.
- Fred Allen
Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted. - Fred Allen
Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.
If criticism had any power to harm, the skunk would be extinct by now. - Fred Allen
If criticism had any power to harm, the skunk would be extinct by now.
My hometown was so dull that one time the tide went out and never came back. - Fred Allen
I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars. - Fred Allen
I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.
A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary. - Fred Allen
A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary.
A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized. - Fred Allen
A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything. - Fred Allen
Television is a device that permits people who haven't anything to do to watch people who can't do anything.
You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's… - Fred Allen
You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a fruit fly and still have room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's…
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