That's where the money is, on the road.

- Aries Spears

My momma used to kick in the door like SWAT!

- Aries Spears

I like to go to the frat house and drink with my white friends, because anytime you go drinking at the frat house, white boys bring you a drink and h…

- Aries Spears

The average comedian is kind of an observer looking at everyday things that everyone could relate to and then trying to find the exaggeration in thos…

- Aries Spears

Ladies Commit, There's A Wedding In It For You.

- Aries Spears

We are all a little bit racist. White people, y'all are the first people to denounce it. I'm not racist. I'm incapable of being racist. My best frien…

- Aries Spears

How do you ask a woman to gargle your nuts?

- Aries Spears

I'm from the streets of New York. I know what tough talk sounds like.

- Aries Spears

I always said if I ever get married, I would tell my woman - I love Michael Jordan, I am a Michael Jordan fanatic - I said, 'Michael Jordan is the on…

- Aries Spears