Americans know as much about Canada as straight people do about gays. Americans arrive at the border with skis in July, and straight people think tha…

- Scott Thompson

My parents won’t let me have a motorcycle, but they give me all the guns I want. I asked them for a motorcycle last Christmas and they told me I’d on…

- Scott Thompson

When I found out I had cancer, I just said one thing: 'I want to hold on to life' and that changed everything for me.

- Scott Thompson

Why is being outed such a big deal? When I find out that someone's gay, my respect for them increases tenfold.

- Scott Thompson

In France, everyone speaks French 'cause they think it's cool. Gives 'em, gives 'em an excuse to smoke.

- Scott Thompson

My theory is that comedy comes from little people.

- Scott Thompson

I believe the things that happened to me as a child scarred me terribly, and I wish somebody would have helped me with some of the things that happen…

- Scott Thompson

This world is filled with five billion people with five billion different ways of looking at things.

- Scott Thompson

I'm not a wilting flower. I'm honest, so I pick a lot of fights. I've burned a lot of bridges.

- Scott Thompson