I'm not sure why I like cats so much. I mean, they're really cute obviously. They are both wild and domestic at the same time.

- Michael Showalter

I think gay people deserve all the same rights as everybody else, it's just that marriage is specifically for a man and a woman.

- Michael Showalter

I like the comedians that go into detail and tell longer stories.

- Michael Showalter

For me, Twitter works best as a way of taking pictures of being stuck in traffic on the Brooklyn Bridge. If people really want to read really funny q…

- Michael Showalter

I calculated that if I wrote five pages a day, which seemed very doable, I would have an 1,800-page first draft when the deadline rolled around. Thou…

- Michael Showalter

Love is such a confusing word. You think I'm joking but I'm not.

- Michael Showalter

I think narcissists are endlessly watchable. The way they view the world and the way they interact within the world.

- Michael Showalter

In my perfect world order, it is cold all the time. Everyone wears sweaters and drinks coffee. People don't speak to each other; they read the newspa…

- Michael Showalter

I am very athletic, actually, and I'm good at most sports. But I was never a successful athlete, because I have a lot of trouble with authority. To b…

- Michael Showalter